Man, I’m a master of the Ghost Loan. This is where I borrow someone’s favorite book and them promptly leave it on my shelf for months without touching it. Sure, I see it, I look at it, I think about it, I want to read it, but I just… don’t. And then I keep it for a...
#457 That tiny little hole at the top of your sink that prevents it from overflowing
Let’s face it. We’re all idiots who love cranking taps and have no idea when reckless shaving and face-washing shenanigans might flood our bathroom floors. Thanks for watching our backs, little hole. AWESOME! Photo from: here — Check out my Youtube channel — The post...
#458 The rare moment when you’re on a beach by yourself
Enjoy the silence. Maybe you’re an early bird who goes jogging on the cool sand as the sun rises. Ocean waves quietly lap to shore together with twisted messes of dark seaweed and chipped seashells as faint orange sunbeams peek over the horizon… Or maybe you’re a sand...
#459 Plain old forks
Once upon a time we didn’t have forks. Yes, our ancient ancestors were forced to scoop saber-tooth tiger brains out with twigs, hold woolly mammoth meat over the fire with spears, and eat prehistoric pies with a spoon. According to our egghead pals at Wikipedia, although the Ancient...
#460 The Super Jump
Close your eyes and let your brain slip back … You’re a tiny tot holding big hands walking down a sandy beach. As the sun sets over the glittery water the salty ocean breeze hits your hair and your feet squish into cool sand as somebody suddenly yells out “1-2-3...
#461 When you get in the car and notice someone filled up the tank for you
Nothing’s worse than popping into first and noticing you’re flirting with the big E. Suddenly you’re late for work, the date’s on hold, and your party’s stalled in the parking lot. Yes, jumping in a car and noticing it’s out of gas ranks pretty high on 1000...
#462 Pain
It’s there for a reason. Whether you’re shredding your legs on a raspberry bush, scalding your hand in hot water, or taking an arrow to the chest in the forest, I got bad news for you, brother: that’s gonna hurt. Yes, when our bodies take blows those powerful jolts make us...
#463 The sound of the cork popping
Last year my friend Baxter popped a champagne cork off his head. Yes, he bent over the bottle, gritted his teeth and twisted, and managed to shoot that cork like a speeding bullet right smack off his forehead. He stared up with his mouth forming a giant O of shock as bubbles foamed up and...
#464 When characters in a movie visit a place you know in real life
What a trip. It’s always a big moment when the flickering screen features one of these special scenes: 1. The Hometown Spotlight. This is when the characters come visit the city you live in. Nope, don’t matter if it’s terrorists fleeing the country, teen lovers filling gas on...
#465 When a work friend evolves into an outside-of-work friend
The nine to five brought you together. Cracking jokes by the copier, swapping stories on the line, laughing in the lunchroom, you found a friend between policies, procedures, and paperwork. When you got together you started noticing you were just you, just hanging out, just laughing about your...
#466 Using milk instead of water whenever you can
What’s up, instructions? Why you gotta be recommending water in our pancakes, hot chocolate, and jello pudding? Why you trying to blandify our oatmeal, brownie mixes, and cream of mushroom soup? Look, we’re sorry but there’s new chef in the kitchen and things are going to be...
#467 Guilty pleasure music
We’ve all got some. Just the other day my friend Vanessa and I were grabbing breakfast when we started talking about guilty pleasure songs. As I doused a tower of pancakes in a tidal wave of syrup we laughed about those songs you don’t really tell your friends about. You know, it’s...
#468 The invisible moment of anticipation just before the first kiss
Stare into those eyes. Pupils grow wide and hearts thump fast as brains jolt and thoughts rollercoaster around. Conversation jumbles and stumbles before fading into footnotes as fingers touch and linger, thoughts twist together, and eye contact drifts and sways before catching and connecting...
#469 Seeing a dog that looks like another dog you know
My sister and I killed Dale. Well, to be honest, the poor goldfish didn’t stand a chance. Nina was six and I was seven when my parents let us have our first pet and the slippery slugger swam in our front hallway for ten happy days before being savagely murdered by overfeeding. See, we...
#470 Finally getting the absolutely perfect picture
AWESOME! Photos from: Nat and Ago Mazzarelli — Check out my podcast 3 Books — The post #470 Finally getting the absolutely perfect picture appeared first on 1000 Awesome...
#471 The moment at the bar when everyone suddenly starts singing together
Let’s go out. Let’s grab friends, let’s grab drinks, let’s make it happen. Now, if you’re like me then even though you love hitting a busy scene, you sorta end up sticking to your own corner booth or tipsy table with your own group of friends. Sure, sure, rogue...
#472 Finishing your last exam before the break
After sitting on a wobbly wood desk coloring in multiple choice bubbles for hours, you finally tip-toe to the front and hand in your last exam. Now you can say goodbye to biology, say goodbye to photosynthesis, say goodbye to hypotenuses, and say goodbye to the hot stench of chalk dust and...
#473 When that social event you didn’t want to go to manages to get canceled
Catch you next time, distant cousin’s baby shower. We totally would have been there, new coworker’s birthday party. Sorry it didn’t work out, someone we don’t know’s wedding. AWESOME! Photo from: here — Follow me on Instagram — The post #473 When that...
#474 When someone who doesn’t like pizza crust gives you their pizza crust and even leaves a bit of ...
Personally, I’m a crustless gentleman. Gimme that melty tip of of cheesy goodness, gimme that pepperoni with crispy edges, and then gimme another slice. Yes, for my money Belly Space Analysis dictates I’m better off grabbing another slice from the box rather than chomp away at the...
#475 Guests who do the dishes even after you tell them not to
It’s dinner party night. Yes, sweaty and flushed, you run around baking bread and breaking eggs before that doorbell bing-bongs, the guests ping-pong, and everyone sits down to eat up your delicious homemade meal. Of course, you enjoy the dinner — you love it, it’s great...
#476 Successfully biting off the last piece of the popsicle without it falling on the ground
Careful now. You started strong but now you’re down to the drippy ice-cold clump in the middle of the stick. You can’t reach it from the top, you can’t reach it from the bottom, and using your fingers or a fork is cheating. No, you’re going straight in and facing the...
#477 When the lawnmower starts on the first pull
Time for a trim. Yes, step into those grass-stained workboots, toss on a faded ballcap, and roll the rusty mower out of the wobbly tin shed. You’re about to spend an hour mindlessly chopping lawn so stare at those grass-covered wheels, duct-taped wires, and chippy paint patches before...
#478 Hearing an old song that reminds you of someone you love
The song starts up. Suddenly your brain flashes back to late nights lying on the faded corduroy couch with your first boyfriend. Scratchy records spin in the background, the TV flickers on mute, and you cuddle under thin blankets while everyone sleeps upstairs. The chorus builds up as you kiss...
#479 Actually seeing a goal when you’re watching soccer
Did you play soccer as a kid? I did and let me tell you something, brother: it wasn’t pretty. Nope, I was a baggy-shorts wearing, skinned-knees masterpiece of fumbly awkwardness. I would strap my glasses around my head, velcro up my sneakers, and keep the bench warm in case someone got...
#480 When your shoes are tight enough to stay on but loose enough to slide off
Congratulations on reaching Total Shoe Actualization. AWESOME! Photo from: here — Check out my Youtube channel — The post #480 When your shoes are tight enough to stay on but loose enough to slide off appeared first on 1000 Awesome...
#481 Licking the flavor powder off your fingers
Get your snack on long. Get your snack on strong. Yes, as your movie-watching group melts into the couch for some lazy, late night, limbs everywhere screen time, there’s nothing finer than pouring Pepsis and passing around potato chips, cheesy puffs, and crisp-cracking nacho...
#482 Taking Friday off and making it a long week
The post #482 Taking Friday off and making it a long week appeared first on 1000 Awesome Things.
#483 Those beautiful Do Nothing Days
It’s like a mirage. You see that distant Do Nothing day coming up on the horizon of your kitchen calendar. You stare at its white squarey blankess beckoning you closer and closer and closer. Time moves forward, days march on, and still nothing gets planned on that beautifully perfect...
#484 Getting the Emergency Exit row on the airplane and not having to pay for it
You don’t want to sit next to me on an airplane. Chances are good I’ll start drooling on your shoulder, accidentally crank your headset volume, or chat your ear off with boring anecdotes while you attempt to stare dreamily at cloudscapes out the window. Yes, you’ll politely...
#485 When someone saved you a seat
It’s time to get down with the get down… At the movies! Your arms bearhug fat tubs of popcorn and slippery jumbo drinks as you blindly stumble down the dark aisle. You scan the chattery crowd dotting the red plushy tundra before noticing your friend thirty rows up giving you the...
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