#272 The Stone Age Apr06

#272 The Stone Age

Props to the past. The Stone Age is the term describing the giant time period from 600,000 years ago to 8000 years ago where our earliest ancestors first made tools from stone. Unless you happen to be an immortal wizard, I’m guessing you weren’t around back then. Yeah, me neither....

#273 Breaking into your own place after realizing you locked yourself out Apr03

#273 Breaking into your own place after realizing you locked yourself out

We’ve all been there. Whether you left the keys in your car, let a dorm door slam behind you, or just came home late without a key, we feel your pain, we feel your pain, we feel your pain. Now after the panic drains and you stop going insane it’s time to get your brain together by...

#274 When your child reads you a bedtime story Apr02

#274 When your child reads you a bedtime story

Once upon a time you had a baby. Over those first few years you had ups and down, good times and bad, lots of laughs and lots of tears. You spooned applesauce off chins, you washed off their skin, and you walked them to their first day of school. And as they grow up and grow older, as they...

#275 Sundays Apr01

#275 Sundays

It’s a beautiful day. Don’t let it get away. Now whether you’re holding hands in church, running with your dog at the park, just taking a break from the world, or just sleeping in till it’s dark, well … Sunday’s a good time to relax and enjoy some smaller...

#276 Waiters and waitresses who know the menu really well Mar31

#276 Waiters and waitresses who know the menu really well

I’d make a bad waiter. Yeah, balancing wobbly trays of wet glasses, slipping and sliding on slick kitchen floors, and rushing for refills after refills is just way above my abilities. Of course, sometimes when you hit your local eating trough you meet other waiters and waitresses over...

#277 The fact that airplanes exist Mar30

#277 The fact that airplanes exist

Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. Giant hunks of metal weighing half a million pounds soar in the air way above the clouds over deep dark oceans to deliver people to distant lands thousands of miles away? AWESOME! Photo from: here — Follow me on Twitter — The post #277 The fact...

#278 Putting garbage in other garbage Mar27

#278 Putting garbage in other garbage

In your car you used to have all this lying around: an empty Doritos bag, a napkin, a parking stub, and a coffee cup. Now you just have a coffee cup. AWESOME! Photo from: here — Check out my podcast 3 Books — The post #278 Putting garbage in other garbage appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#279 Anything really, really heavy Mar26

#279 Anything really, really heavy

Boom-badda, boom-badda. Back when I was a wee lad I remember begging my parents for some newfangled gadget from Radio Shack that let me play LCD checkers in the back of the station wagon. It was like Game Boy’s Great Uncle or something and after I fought with scissors to break it out of...

#280 When little kids get really, really excited Mar25

#280 When little kids get really, really excited

Big news, big news. I’ve got a new girlfriend. Her name is Leslie and she’s a kindergarten teacher. Now, one of the things I love about her is swapping stories after work because we do such different things. I work an office job in the suburbs so I tell horror stories...

#281 The loudest guy at the game Mar24

#281 The loudest guy at the game

There’s always one. It’s the beer belly guy with the megaphone, the face-painted lady with the dangly earrings, or the boozy teens with the letters on their chests. These folks don’t rest and we all can attest that they make our entire fan experience better than the best. The...

#282 Sending yourself emails to do stuff in the future Mar23

#282 Sending yourself emails to do stuff in the future

It’s good getting along with Future You. Whether it’s all-caps screaming to pick up the milk, terse finger-wagging reminding you to hit the gym, or polite memos to your Work Self to staple that important pamphlet tomorrow, well the point is that you’re making plans and...

#283 Eating the thing you’re cooking while cooking it Mar20

#283 Eating the thing you’re cooking while cooking it

Also known as Chef Snacks. When you’re stirring stew, popping corn, or frying fritters there’s nothing as nice as sneaking a few bites when nobody’s looking. You can do The Wooden Spoon Slurp to see if the soup has enough salt or the macaroni has enough cheese. Or you can try...

#284 When the chapters in the book you’re reading are really short Mar19

#284 When the chapters in the book you’re reading are really short

Have you seen Twins? Yes, before The Governator governed he played Danny DeVito’s book-smart-street-stupid long lost brother in this classic screwball comedy. The story goes that The Terminator stole all the brains and muscles in the womb which turned him into a Superman but left poor...

#285 Your skin Mar18

#285 Your skin

Pop quiz, hotshot. What are your body’s five largest organs? No peeking, no peeking, we’ll reveal the big list later. But for now let’s just say skin is top dog and deserves six big props for six big reasons: 1. It’s our body’s giftwrap. No offense, but you...

#286 Seeing a dog or cat chase its own tail Mar17

#286 Seeing a dog or cat chase its own tail

Maybe it’s a metaphor for us all. Or maybe it’s just AWESOME! Photo from: here — Check out my podcast 3 Books — The post #286 Seeing a dog or cat chase its own tail appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#287 Enjoying all the fresh smells of spring after a long winter Mar16

#287 Enjoying all the fresh smells of spring after a long winter

Who’s done with winter? Me, I’m finished with chapped knuckles, I’m finished with shoveling in pitch black darkness, I’m finished with sandpaper lips. I say we all point our chests at the sky, open our hands up real wide, and smile with pride as we warm our...

#288 Looking through the little window in an oven Mar13

#288 Looking through the little window in an oven

Where were you 31,000 years ago? Immortal wizards aside, I’m guessing you were the same place I was: nowhere. Nope, you were just a twinkle in your cave grandpa’s eye back then. Seriously, you weren’t around but your ancestors were scraping across soggy jungles, wet cliffs,...

#289 Finally finding the start of this stupid roll of tape Mar12

#289 Finally finding the start of this stupid roll of tape

You think it’s gonna be easy. But finally finding and finger-peeling the start of this stupid roll of tape takes two focused hawk eyes, a sharp set of witch’s nails, and a soft and delicate touch. If you’re missing these you’re outta luck. But if you’ve got all...

#290 Saying yes Mar11

#290 Saying yes

Chad came to visit last week. We’ve been friends since ninth grade and you may remember him playing important roles in my life like Neapolitan Shake Inspiration, Ticking Clock Monster, or Chocolate Milk Boy Genius. Chad’s been there for me through the thick and thin. He’s...

#291 Forgetting you ordered something online and then having it randomly show up Mar10

#291 Forgetting you ordered something online and then having it randomly show up

Goodbye, perfume. When I was a little kid I dreaded walking through Perfume Alley at the front of the department store. Holding my mom or dad’s hand I’d squeeze my face real tight while walking past lipstick-smeared smilies standing in front of shiny glass-n-brass countertops...

Mar09

#292 Skinny dipping somewhere you shouldn’t be

Mar06

#293 Rubbing your eyes at the end of a long day

Mar05

#294 Successful sheet swooping

Mar04

#295 Location based snacks

Mar03

#296 Making a baby laugh

Mar02

#297 Singing the national anthem in a big crowd

Feb28

#298 Successfully giving someone directions in your home town

#299 Finally pulling out an ingrown hair Feb27

#299 Finally pulling out an ingrown hair

Pull, pull, twist. Pull, pull, squeeze. Pull, pull, yank. Pull, pull, tweeze. SPROINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!! AWESOME! Photo from: here — Follow me on Instagram — The post #299 Finally pulling out an ingrown hair appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#300 Successfully navigating your home in the dark like a ninja Feb26

#300 Successfully navigating your home in the dark like a ninja

Welcome to the dark. . It’s time to assess your nightwalking skills, young warrior: . Level 1: Fresh soldier. You’ve got confidence to try getting around in the dark but you’re just no good yet. Maybe you moved into a new place and are stubbing your toes on walls, stepping on...

#301 Unpacking the very last box Feb25

#301 Unpacking the very last box

Packed boxes are ghosts. After you move into your shiny new place those cardboard demons haunt your hallways and basements for months and months and months. You see them hiding behind drain pipes in the storage room, lingering between boots in the closet, and even subbing in for missing...