#497 That moment right after the show ends and just before the applause begins May24

#497 That moment right after the show ends and just before the applause begins

Fat ladies hit the high note, trumpets blast in the pit band, and stage hands yank the curtains closed in that big booming finish at the end of the show. Yes, the guitarist slashes the final chord as that closing climax spirals up and up and up before just so suddenly … stopping. Then...

May23

#498 Those long comfortable silences between really close friends

. . . . . . . .. . … . “Mm, want the air conditioning on or anything?” “No, no, I’m good…” .. .. . .. . . . . . .. . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AWESOME! — Follow me on Twitter —   The post #498 Those long...

#499 When you realize you didn’t get a parking ticket but should have May22

#499 When you realize you didn’t get a parking ticket but should have

Well, well, well. Look at you living life in the fire lane. Yes, you came, you parked, you went over time, and you know it. Now you’re scrambling out of the laundromat with a teetery stack of folded towels, racing out of the barber shop with a a freshly shorn neck, or running out of the...

#500 Finally making it halfway May21

#500 Finally making it halfway

Maybe you’re running on the treadmill when you catch the clock tick past the middle of your sweaty jog. Maybe you’re reading late at night and notice you’re on the middle page where the left and right sides form one big rectangle of paper. Or maybe you’re on a long...

#501 Correctly picking the fastest moving line at the grocery store May20

#501 Correctly picking the fastest moving line at the grocery store

You can do it. Motor around filling your basket with food before spying the checkouts and picking your poison. Here’s five tips for living life in the fast lane: 5. Skip your greens. Keep away from shopping carts full of strange produce. Anyone with little bags of cilantro or parsley is...

#502 Fully justifying whatever horrible thing you’re eating May17

#502 Fully justifying whatever horrible thing you’re eating

Let the grease glisten, mayo drip, and soda fizz. Here are three ways to make the magic happen: 1. Veggie Validation. My friend Mike is king of this hilarious move. “Gotta get my greens,” he’ll say, while chomping dill pickles on the couch playing video games. “Carrots...

#503 Walking into class and seeing that it’s a substitute teacher May16

#503 Walking into class and seeing that it’s a substitute teacher

Postpone the pop quiz, torpedo that test, and forget about a tough math lesson today. No, now’s the time when energy bolts blast through brains as everybody revs up for forty-five minutes of whispering, passing notes, and tossing paper airplanes. AWESOME!   Photo from: here —...

#504 Acrobatic snoozing moves May15

#504 Acrobatic snoozing moves

Everybody loves a good snooze. That’s where you groggily dive back into the sleepy underworld for a few more minutes of lazy-boned bliss before waking up to get your day on. It’s even better when you tap the snooze button with a bit of acrobatic showmanship that keeps you dreaming...

#505 The last few hours before the weekend May14

#505 The last few hours before the weekend

This is known as The Funrise. Chatty buzz fills office cubicles, laughs echo down high school halls, and the clock ticks a little bit faster as we all smile and get ready for a couple big days of AWESOME! Photos from: here   — Follow me on Facebook — — Email message...

#506 When the person you’re meeting shows up even later than you May13

#506 When the person you’re meeting shows up even later than you

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. You’re late. Racing, running, rushing, you’re checking your watch and picturing your friend tapping their foot and rolling their eyes while waiting for you. That’s why it’s great when you arrive hot, sweaty, and breathless just before they...

#507 Riding on someone’s shoulders May10

#507 Riding on someone’s shoulders

Blast off. Getting a six-foot liftoff when you’re two feet tall shoots you straight into the stratosphere. Suddenly you’re riding your own personal human in a bumpy living room safari in the clouds. Your diaper-padded ass bounces safely on sturdy shoulders as you giggle and grab...

#508 Dropping your phone on the sidewalk but then realizing it’s totally fine May09

#508 Dropping your phone on the sidewalk but then realizing it’s totally fine

It’s a terrible scene. As that cell phone, digital camera, or pair of sunglasses crash lands on the concrete everyone gasps as it crunches, bounces, and skids hard… Suddenly your eyes blur, stomach twists, and world flips as you fade back and suddenly realize you’re covered...