#183 Sleep lines Aug11

#183 Sleep lines

Sleep lines are any line on your body when you wake up from sleep. They’re little indents on your arm from the pillow case zipper. They’re creases on your face from your corduroy covers. They’re just cute little lines and dents on your arms and legs that tell everyone that...

#184 Hands-free-everything bathrooms Aug10

#184 Hands-free-everything bathrooms

It’s known as the Paper Towel Pile. Germophobes, you know what I’m talking about. It’s that filthy stash of crumpled wet paper towels sitting in a pathetic heap behind public bathroom doors. Bacteria conscious citizens aren’t above using paper towels like gloves to...

#185 Splashing someone outside the pool with a cannonball Aug07

#185 Splashing someone outside the pool with a cannonball

Bombs away. Bring on big splashes, wet clothes, and hot sunny afternoons of AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #185 Splashing someone outside the pool with a cannonball appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#186 When your friends with kids don’t just talk about their kids Aug06

#186 When your friends with kids don’t just talk about their kids

We love your kids. We do, we do, they’re cute, they’re adorable, they’re beautiful little Future You’s who will rule the Earth just fine when we’re all done living. And it’s fantastic they won bronze in high jump,  scored a Wise Man part in the Christmas...

#187 That moment just before you fall asleep when you know you’re about to fall asleep Aug05

#187 That moment just before you fall asleep when you know you’re about to fall asleep

It’s been a long day. Flick off the lights and rest your broken bones in bed. Collapse under the covers, twist out your spine, and crumple into your cozy cotton cocoon. Feel your eyes warm your lids after long hours looking at the screen. Let your jaw unclench, let your blood swim...

#188 Hiding inside a really big hood Aug04

#188 Hiding inside a really big hood

I have short hair. People, this is what happens when you’re going bald. Now I’ll probably always have short hair and I’m really hoping it doesn’t go too far out of style. Because if the new thing becomes dreads, french braids, and ponytails, then I’m screwed. You...

#189 Anything that gets you really, really sweaty Aug03

#189 Anything that gets you really, really sweaty

I’m no tennis pro. Yet somehow this past weekend I got tricked into playing a game with my brother-in-law Dee. I hadn’t played tennis in years, but Dee and I managed to scrounge around my dad’s basement to find two wooden rackets and a tube of balls. Even though each tennis...

#190 Making disgusting slurping noises while eating a really juicy peach Jul31

#190 Making disgusting slurping noises while eating a really juicy peach

You can’t fake a peach. Juice and candy companies keep trying with their Fuzzy Peach gummies and sugary peach drinks. But those molar-clogging sugar clumps never do the real peach justice. They’re an insult to peaches everywhere and mock the regal beauty of the Lord Of All...

#191 That bend in the pipe under the sink Jul30

#191 That bend in the pipe under the sink

Keep the poo outside. We all agreed on this hundreds of years ago and beyond when we scooted outside whenever nature called. Outhouses were the norm and everyone put on slippers and blindly stepped through flower gardens whenever they tinkled in the middle of the night. The rules changed after...

#192 A la moding anything Jul29

#192 A la moding anything

It happened last night. Leslie and I were walking around a new neighborhood when we strolled past a giant restaurant window with a tall guy in a paper hat standing inside. He was swiping a tiny windshield wiper across a hot black circle and cooking up thin little crepes. Maybe I’m a bit...

#193 That moment after the lightning and before the thunder Jul28

#193 That moment after the lightning and before the thunder

Here comes the rain. Black clouds cover the sky before jumbo drops start pounding down all around you. Drenching clothes, splashing windows, everyone runs for cover with wet cheeks and rain hair. And when giant cracks of lightning suddenly splinter the sky and fill everything with...

#194 When insects are struggling to do something and you help them Jul27

#194 When insects are struggling to do something and you help them

Picture this. You’re biking down the leaf-slicked sidestreets of your hometown when you suddenly lose your balance and fly head first over the handlebars straight into the curb. You smack it hard and are left lying in a twisted mess of bike chains and bloody legs. But then! Just as the...