Sounds easy enough. You grab the meat, I’ll grab the veggies, meet you at the front. But after completing your Mint N’ Mushroom Mission and racing to the checkouts you suddenly find yourself all alone in Lineup Paradise. You can’t hang onto the awkward armload of plastic...

Suddenly your milk gets classy, your orange juice gets refined, and your chocolate milk feels more sophisticated. When you’re a kid you suddenly go from ten years old to thirty and can legally show up at the dinner table with heavily slicked and parted hair, a handkerchief puffing out of...

Life begins with climate control. Since we first hung woolly mammoth furs from forest branches we’ve gotten used to getting comfy when we settle in somewhere. Just look at babies in those curly fetal poses in their flannel onesies, napping in sunhats, shades, and shorts in strollers, or...

We all know that slippery wet pile of scorching sauce and bubbling cheese doesn’t usually hold together when you jigsaw it out of the pan. Nope, after yanking it out of the burning hot tray the rectangle hole left behind quickly fills up with lasagna swamp water. Sure, your soaring...

Ten goods. That’s a phrase my friends used in high school to express our casual annoyance with minor problems. Extra homework for the weekend? Ten goods. Cafeteria sold out of panzerottis? Ten goods. Tennis ball stuck in the gutter during road hockey? Ten goods. Now you got it. Rye started...

Surprise! While mindlessly dragging your hand between the couch cushions, sweeping the backyard patio stones, or searching for extra batteries in the junk drawer a tiny foiled egg suddenly appears like a sugary gift from the heavens. And when you score that surprise chocolate dropping just...

Office jobs are tough. I know we cubicle farmhands aren’t exactly hammering diamonds in dusty mineshafts, landing planes in snowy storms, or performing emergency appendectomies. But still — what we’re doing is complex mail merges to make envelope labels, compiling meeting...

When the bass kicks in the song kicks up to a whole new part of its game. Your head starts grooving, your arms start moving, and everything inside you just wants to dance. AWESOME! [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXGKfRYRho4] — Follow me on Instagram — The post #256 When the bass...

Why hello, little cup of strawberry-banana punch. How you doing, pepper-dill crackers? Don’t mind if I do, spicy salami wrapped around a piece of melon. Yes, eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying is a great way to stay on top of what’s happening at the...