#195 Burps that taste good Jul24

#195 Burps that taste good

I love burritos. Wrap a chewy tortilla around a slopful of sticky beans, blackened chicken, and creamy guacamole and that’s a pretty fine lunch. Hey, squirt some sour cream in there, sprinkle grated cheese, and splat some salsa on and you just made it better. Burritos are so delicious...

#196 Accidental snorts Jul23

#196 Accidental snorts

You just sounded like a pig. AWESOME! The post #196 Accidental snorts appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#197 Chugging cold milk after chocolate cake Jul22

#197 Chugging cold milk after chocolate cake

It’s like throat glue. After you finish scraping the chocolate icing off the plate and fingering up every last crumb, it suddenly hits you that your entire face and mouth is smeared with the brown and pasty. Molars have new chocolate fillings, lips are smeared with sugary icing, and your...

#198 Becoming friends with the other guy who doesn’t know anyone here Jul21

#198 Becoming friends with the other guy who doesn’t know anyone here

Welcome to the place where nobody knows your name. 1. The Boring Party. You’re watching Saturday Night Live on the couch or hanging by the punch table at prom while everyone else dances up a sweat to The Power, Informer, or Pump Up The Jam across the room. When that other guy plops on...

#199 That secretary who actually runs things around here Jul20

#199 That secretary who actually runs things around here

There’s always one. It’s the lady who’s been there since the war with glasses perched on her nose and the framed photo of her kids from twenty years ago on her desk. Sure, she might have gray hair, she might have wrinkles, but nobody’s better at keeping this place together. First of...

#200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti Jul17

#200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti

AWESOME! Check out my new book on resilience You Are Awesome The post #200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you owe instead Jul16

#201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you...

Way to cut out the middleman. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you owe instead appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#202 Perfectly pulling a shrimp out of its tail Jul15

#202 Perfectly pulling a shrimp out of its tail

You’re the master wiggler. Nice move loosening that awkwardly-curled delicious pink meat from the plasticy trappings of its own tail. Now you’ve increased your shrimp intake and can rest knowing the shrimp’s life was made entirely useful. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, shrimp...

#203 When everything you’re cooking gets done at the same time Jul14

#203 When everything you’re cooking gets done at the same time

Toast gets cold fast. I’m reminded of this nearly every morning after I toss a couple scrambled eggs onto a plate and then mindlessly chomp into the cold and crumby jam-smeared bread that’s been lying around for a couple minutes. Do you have issues like I have issues? Hands up if...

#204 Opening doors without using your hands Jul13

#204 Opening doors without using your hands

I live in a tall apartment building downtown. Whenever I get home from the office I tap a little gray button thing or ‘fob‘ on my key chain onto the black box sensor near the front door which unlocks it. If I forget my fob, I’m locked out and forced to nonchalantly...

#205 That one person lying down at the front of every sports team photo Jul11

#205 That one person lying down at the front of every sports team photo

There’s always a photo. Yes, whenever I finished up a few painful months of smacking T-ball stands or getting beaned by soccer balls it was time for that classic end-of-the-year, middle-of-the-field photo shoot. Straighten your shinpads, comb your cowlick, and tighten your cleats,...

#206 When someone returns your wallet Jul09

#206 When someone returns your wallet

Please don’t steal my wallet. Honestly, I’ve got my entire life scrunched into that little slap of leather. Credit cards, ID, and lots of other Really Annoying Things To Replace fill up my back pocket every day of my life. Once in a while I’ll be in an airport in another...