#199 That secretary who actually runs things around here Jul20

#199 That secretary who actually runs things around here

There’s always one. It’s the lady who’s been there since the war with glasses perched on her nose and the framed photo of her kids from twenty years ago on her desk. Sure, she might have gray hair, she might have wrinkles, but nobody’s better at keeping this place together. First of...

#200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti Jul17

#200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti

AWESOME! Check out my new book on resilience You Are Awesome The post #200 Actually making the right amount of spaghetti appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you owe instead Jul16

#201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you...

Way to cut out the middleman. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #201 When you owe someone $10 and someone else owes you $10 and they just give $10 to the person you owe instead appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#202 Perfectly pulling a shrimp out of its tail Jul15

#202 Perfectly pulling a shrimp out of its tail

You’re the master wiggler. Nice move loosening that awkwardly-curled delicious pink meat from the plasticy trappings of its own tail. Now you’ve increased your shrimp intake and can rest knowing the shrimp’s life was made entirely useful. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, shrimp...

#203 When everything you’re cooking gets done at the same time Jul14

#203 When everything you’re cooking gets done at the same time

Toast gets cold fast. I’m reminded of this nearly every morning after I toss a couple scrambled eggs onto a plate and then mindlessly chomp into the cold and crumby jam-smeared bread that’s been lying around for a couple minutes. Do you have issues like I have issues? Hands up if...

#204 Opening doors without using your hands Jul13

#204 Opening doors without using your hands

I live in a tall apartment building downtown. Whenever I get home from the office I tap a little gray button thing or ‘fob‘ on my key chain onto the black box sensor near the front door which unlocks it. If I forget my fob, I’m locked out and forced to nonchalantly...

#205 That one person lying down at the front of every sports team photo Jul11

#205 That one person lying down at the front of every sports team photo

There’s always a photo. Yes, whenever I finished up a few painful months of smacking T-ball stands or getting beaned by soccer balls it was time for that classic end-of-the-year, middle-of-the-field photo shoot. Straighten your shinpads, comb your cowlick, and tighten your cleats,...

#206 When someone returns your wallet Jul09

#206 When someone returns your wallet

Please don’t steal my wallet. Honestly, I’ve got my entire life scrunched into that little slap of leather. Credit cards, ID, and lots of other Really Annoying Things To Replace fill up my back pocket every day of my life. Once in a while I’ll be in an airport in another...

#207 Vacuuming up a spider web Jul08

#207 Vacuuming up a spider web

Cleaning up the corners was never so easy. Sorry spidey. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #207 Vacuuming up a spider web appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#208 Cleaning all that gunk out of your keyboard or mouse Jul07

#208 Cleaning all that gunk out of your keyboard or mouse

Dirt is everywhere. Just look around the house for a second here. What’s that in your phone receiver? What’s all over the bottom of your Tupperware cupboard? And what’s that coating your own … face? If you said horribly sore bright red zits that’s only half the...

#209 Baby dreams Jul06

#209 Baby dreams

Because what are they thinking? Honestly, when I wake up in the morning and remember jagged shards of Dreams From Last Night, I’m usually just picking up familiar friends and family staging new acts in old places. Maybe I’ve got boring dreams but mine are usually just tense scenes twisting...

#210 When your schoolwork makes it onto the fridge Jul03

#210 When your schoolwork makes it onto the fridge

There is no limit. When you get the itch to go for it you can keep going all the way to the top. No one will tell you to stop. You can study and study and try and try and dream to go far and dream to go high. If you believe it can be, it can be. There’s no end to what you can...

#211 Dragging a stick across the metal fence you’re walking by Jul02

#211 Dragging a stick across the metal fence you’re walking by

It’s like playing a harp with only one note. AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #211 Dragging a stick across the metal fence you’re walking by appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#212 When someone actually returns your pen Jul01

#212 When someone actually returns your pen

Books, blow dryers, babies in baskets. These are all things we’d like back. These are all things we usually get back. But somehow it’s different with pens. When someone borrows one it’s like they’re immediately shipped to the Island of Misfit Toys with the rest of their...

#213 Airborne hugs Jun30

#213 Airborne hugs

An airborne hug is any hug where you actually lift the other person off the ground. It’s a serious squeeze that shows the world how much you love them and offers a little back cracking at no extra charge. AWESOME! Check out my interview with the world’s greatest Uber driver. The post...

#214 Eating a taco without anything falling out Jun29

#214 Eating a taco without anything falling out

I always break my taco’s back. Yes, it’s a sad and painful moment which involves me picking up a hard-shell taco and very gently squeezing it together so I can fit it in my mouth. But then just before I can bite, a loud splintery crack fills the air and I notice I’ve just...

#215 Sun and rain at the same time Jun26

#215 Sun and rain at the same time

Mother Nature likes to mess. Honestly, when she gets crazy it’s time to watch out, everybody. Swirling oceans, spinning winds, icy rain drops — you never know what she’s got cooking in the atmosphere. One of her off-the-menu specials is definitely a fresh batch of clear blue...

#216 Putting your ear on someone’s stomach and hearing all the gurgling Jun25

#216 Putting your ear on someone’s stomach and hearing all the gurgling

It’s the sound of life. Listening to the sound of a stomach chowing down on a greasy hot dog is listening to the sound of a body filling up with energy. Ketchup, mustard, pickles — they’re all magically getting transmogrified into molecules of you and molecules of poo. Amen,...

#217 Actually squeezing out the right amount of sunblock Jun24

#217 Actually squeezing out the right amount of sunblock

What’s that on your arm? Wait, let me guess — is it a giant smear of white sunblock gooing up your arm hairs? Brother, I been there too. And I guarantee my arms are more gorilla than you, so whenever I’m thick-blobbing it on the back deck before the barbecue it feels like...

#218 Drinking from the hose Jun23

#218 Drinking from the hose

It’s the buffalo of the backyard. Yes, when you’re a kid you live off that hose. It’s your friend. It’s your enemy. It keeps your entire afternoon moving with ritual cool downs, face-spraying entertainment, and lots of rust-and-plastic flavored water to keep you...

#219 When little kids give you their artwork Jun22

#219 When little kids give you their artwork

It’s better than half the stuff in the gallery. AWESOME! Check out 3 Books! Photo from: here The post #219 When little kids give you their artwork appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#220 Warm sandals that have been sitting in the sun Jun19

#220 Warm sandals that have been sitting in the sun

It’s the warm underwear from the dryer of the summer. Yes, warm sandals are a tender hug for cold feet and a sweet escape from scalding sand. Just slip them on and say AWESOME! Photo from: here The post #220 Warm sandals that have been sitting in the sun appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#221 Using your keychain remote to find your car in a giant parking lot Jun18

#221 Using your keychain remote to find your car in a giant parking lot

First, there is nothing. You mindlessly walk into the Sea of Cars from the mall and start tapping your remote over and over and over again into quiet and silent night. Foggy memories of parking near the pizza smell by the back slowly hit you and you groggily stumble forward like a zombie...

Jun17

#222 When that noise you didn’t know existed in the background suddenly stops

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#223 Discovering what’s growing in the garden at your new place Jun16

#223 Discovering what’s growing in the garden at your new place

My friend Ago got excited. We were hanging out after work the other day and he started going on and on about how the previous owners of his new house had planted perennial flowers. “They just popped outta the ground,” he said, completely astonished, eyes popping wide like a giant...

#224 When you find that spot on the dog that makes its leg go crazy Jun15

#224 When you find that spot on the dog that makes its leg go crazy

It’s like finding a secret button that gives you complete control over your furry friend. Just scratch once for AWESOME! The post #224 When you find that spot on the dog that makes its leg go crazy appeared first on 1000 Awesome...

#225 Peeling a hard boiled egg and getting a big chunk of shell all at once Jun12

#225 Peeling a hard boiled egg and getting a big chunk of shell all at once

It’s time for open egg surgery. Sure, maybe you didn’t make it in med school, but now’s your chance to tenderly crack open the egg skull and reveal the soft white brain below. After you successfully remove a giant chunk all at once make sure to delicately leave it on the...

#226 Furiously scratching a mosquito bite even though you know you shouldn’t Jun11

#226 Furiously scratching a mosquito bite even though you know you shouldn’t

That pesky mosquito. Did you know those jabby jerks are responsible for more deaths on earth than any other creature? With millions of people getting malaria every year they’re bringing us all down, down, down. And they look so innocent too! Why, I almost feel sorry for them with their...

#227 When you finally get rid of that thing that’s been rolling around the trunk of your car forever Jun10

#227 When you finally get rid of that thing that’s been rolling around the trunk of your car forever...

It haunts you on every turn. The muted thump of that half-filled water bottle, grass-stained golf ball, or pair of skates clanging against the side of your trunk. And you think it’s annoying, and you think you’ll get rid of it, but when you arrive at your destination it’s...

#228 Watching the holiday episode of your favorite TV show in the wrong month Jun09

#228 Watching the holiday episode of your favorite TV show in the wrong month

Thank you for being a friend. When you’re crashing into the couch in the cold basement and flicking on the TV screen there’s nothing as nice as being surrounded by your favorite pals in familiar places. And while we’ve chatted before about finding gold there’s also...